"Following the Holy Spirit"

This talk was given April 25, 2021 (the perfect date) in the Provo Utah 232nd Ward, 16th Stake.

I was talking to my boyfriend Monday morning about what our generation will walk through before Christ returns. I asked something like, “if even the elect will be deceived in those days, how do I know that my choices are right and permanent?”

He thought for a minute and then answered, “the most important thing for us is to live so that we have the Holy Ghost.”

 

Nothing earthly is sure nor perfect. I think if we’re paying attention, the desire within us for perfection is a witness of our divinity but not a statement about what we should expect from a probationary stage. I think the use of “probation” for this earthly walk was intentional. 

The dictionary says that probation is a process of testing the character and abilities of a person in a certain role. Connecting this back to God’s plan, I think that means we’re here to choose, to make mistakes, to hurt, and to choose more wisely because we experience the difference between light and darkness, increase and endings. It’s this difference that illuminates a desire for more within us.

I once looked across an altar in the Holy temple, and held the hand of and promised myself to my husband for time and all eternity. I prayed and felt the spirit, prepared myself, and knew it was the choice to make, but then it ended. And, no matter what I did I couldn’t save it. 

As it fell apart, I pondered, wept, and realized I knew two things: 1) I didn’t understand why it ended and without that knowledge I could never end the cycle of divorce in my family. And 2) I had two choices before me, and everything else was just a variation of these two. I could walk away from the church and let go of truth, or I could forgive, and trust that God was infinitely wiser than me. 

I think we could go back and look at the patterns and see evidence for what was eventually to come, but I think the point is that I didn’t know yet. I think the point of being here on this earth, going through darkness, and making mistakes is to see what we will do and learn when we lack knowledge. We’re not evil for lacking; we were sent with weakness. We only stay in the darkness when we aren’t willing to get on our knees and reach for God. To our great blessing, this is why we’ve been given a companion like the Holy Ghost. His job is to help us change, and to witness to us the character of God the Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

In sharing this story, I want to witness that following the Holy Ghost doesn’t mean that there will never be losses or endings. If that were the point, then this would cease to be a probationary period. If that’s what happens at some point in your life, I hope you don’t question your faith in God or your own abilities. Companionship with the Holy Ghost is about edification, and the kind of relationship we develop with God, especially when things don’t go as we wanted. He wants to know, will we continue to reach for the light when we’ve fallen in the darkness? Listening to the Holy Ghost is about developing Christlike light inside of us, and willingness, in these moments. 

The most profound thing is that Christ came to the sacrificial altar for even those who would reject Him and turn Him away. Sometimes we are asked to walk into things not because of the outcome but because of who we become. 

In a devotional Elder Eyring gave in 2005 he said, “The Lord is anxious to lead us to the safety of higher ground… His upward path will require us to climb… And as the world becomes darker and more dangerous, we must keep climbing… The mists of darkness will become more dense as we climb… But the word of God will guide those who develop the capacity to receive it through the Holy Ghost. A clear light piercing the darkness will show the way to those who have taken the Holy Ghost as a trusted and constant traveling companion.”

The world is moving towards greater darkness today, and it’s easy to doubt and fear. But, what Aaron reminded me to recall is the power of my relationship with the Holy Ghost. If I can strengthen my understanding of His communication and my desire for His companionship, nothing can shake the bright hope He gives me. 

I’ve had people ask me, “How do I know what it means to listen to the Holy Ghost? And How do people live differently and get different answers yet claim they are listening to the same Holy Ghost?” I think these are important questions to wrestle with. I’m not 100% sure. But to the latter, I think I would say that just like boundaries are important in human relationships, we can’t worry about what others desire and how others navigate their relationship with the Holy Ghost, we can only have integrity to our own relationship with the Holy Ghost and our understanding of God. 

To the former, I would say that one of the ways that I know the spirit is that I perceive a path opening before me. I’ve hit a couple of stages in my life when I had to make decisions. Honestly, I’ve been dreading going back to school for a masters so I’ve been coming up with creative ways to avoid it. But, I never felt sure about any of the options. I think the Lord was waiting for me to choose faith over fear; and hard work over comfort because listening to the spirit is about faith and action. The Spirit only witnesses to us what we’re ready to be accountable for. Listening to the Spirit makes me more Christlike and improves my vision of all of God’s children. And it helps me move into meaningful service for my brothers and sisters. If I’m listening to the Spirit, there’s evidence of God’s love and light in my life. 

We’re moving fast into a day where we see the hearts of men and women fail. We see wars and contention, and hatred like we’ve never conceived before. It’s more imperative now to get clear about what it means to be like God. Sheri Dew says, “where there is contention and sin, there is Satan. Stay away from him.” In a world full of contention and sin, we need to be careful not to rationalize even the smallest part. We ought to cling to the attributes in the thirteenth article of faith, stay sober from anger, tender in our hearts, and keep reaching for God. 

When I was nineteen, I attended a Christian college. Freshman took a class called “Spiritual Formation” and it was in this class that I learned for the first time that being “spiritual” didn’t mean anything if I wasn’t connecting to the Holy Ghost. So, we spent the semester learning how to connect with Him. We fasted, prayed, participated in lent, and meditated. The most meaningful message for me was that I had to make time to receive communication from the Holy Ghost, that it was supposed to be a two-way relationship. I still remember how powerful it was for me the first time I sat in a quiet space and prayed, listening to receive answers. I remember receiving and becoming more sure of my relationship with God. The Holy Ghost can teach us all truth, if we get quiet and honest enough to seek it. 

Learning to come before Christ in honest seeking, “ with nothing wavering”, or repentance, is the key to our reception of the Holy Ghost and eternal life. When I read the Book of Mormon for the first time, I read it more out of curiosity than true interest. I was in Ether before I closed it, and realized what I had read, and I felt stunned. I knew that God knew the truth, and I knew He would witness it to me. I knew even before I prayed that if He told me the Book was true, my old life was over. And then it was. This pattern holds true for the smaller conversions that happen every day. The Holy Ghost was sent to teach and to sanctify us, but we have to be willing to change and receive the light. 

I pray that as the days ahead of us challenge and stretch us, and they will, that we’ll remember to keep fostering our relationship with the Holy Ghost and seeking the attributes of Christ. I am so thankful for a Father who loves us so much. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.