Vulnerable, but small post about motherhood.
I worry as a mother. Mostly because I am falling short of my own expectations. But, I also worry about the time I must spend away from my children.
This is the prayer on my heart, which I have placed to words tonight: "Lord, bless me in my mothering every day. Bless what I can do, and do, for my children. Bless the time I have with them, and the time I spend away from them. Change and heal my mothering heart."
Before my scripture study I opened with a prayer, and recorded my thoughts (which I shared above). Then, I read this in 3 Nephi 22: 13
"And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children."
That's a promise, and there is no question what the Lord is telling me here. ALL I am asked to do is teach my children of the Lord. And they will be blessed and have peace. Which doesn't mean they won't struggle. But, the reward in the end is great.
I know it is a hard work, and I know that every moment will not be bliss. But, I find great peace in these words tonight. If this is all I have to do, then I CAN do it.
Oh, what joy to my mothering soul.
I had a similar moment in facing single parenthood and in spending so much time away from Makaylee. The clarity came to me in knowing "all things work together for the good of them that love God" so I simply need to teach my daughter to love God, and then things can work together for her good. (Romans 8:28 and General Conference address by James B. Martino). It's so painful though, Haley, I get it. By divine design, we were meant to be mothers and to nurture our children. Obviously, not being with our young kids hurts us. At times it feels like nothing shy of torture! Although the circumstances are far from ideal, I trust God can magnify our efforts, Haley. Your mothering heart is both tender and strong.
ReplyDeleteKiya, thank you so much for this. I am grateful for your insight and comfort. I really try to remember that God magnifies us even when our contributions seem small. That's the beauty of magnification- it makes what's small seem like enough, or visible. You are wonderful. Thank you.
DeleteAre you kidding me! You did it again! You wrote such eloquent words that I want to memorize them and quote you all over!
DeleteOh my gosh, that's so sweet! And humbling! Let's hang out when school is out!
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