"Following the Holy Spirit"

This talk was given April 25, 2021 (the perfect date) in the Provo Utah 232nd Ward, 16th Stake.

I was talking to my boyfriend Monday morning about what our generation will walk through before Christ returns. I asked something like, “if even the elect will be deceived in those days, how do I know that my choices are right and permanent?”

He thought for a minute and then answered, “the most important thing for us is to live so that we have the Holy Ghost.”

 

Nothing earthly is sure nor perfect. I think if we’re paying attention, the desire within us for perfection is a witness of our divinity but not a statement about what we should expect from a probationary stage. I think the use of “probation” for this earthly walk was intentional. 

The dictionary says that probation is a process of testing the character and abilities of a person in a certain role. Connecting this back to God’s plan, I think that means we’re here to choose, to make mistakes, to hurt, and to choose more wisely because we experience the difference between light and darkness, increase and endings. It’s this difference that illuminates a desire for more within us.

I once looked across an altar in the Holy temple, and held the hand of and promised myself to my husband for time and all eternity. I prayed and felt the spirit, prepared myself, and knew it was the choice to make, but then it ended. And, no matter what I did I couldn’t save it. 

As it fell apart, I pondered, wept, and realized I knew two things: 1) I didn’t understand why it ended and without that knowledge I could never end the cycle of divorce in my family. And 2) I had two choices before me, and everything else was just a variation of these two. I could walk away from the church and let go of truth, or I could forgive, and trust that God was infinitely wiser than me. 

I think we could go back and look at the patterns and see evidence for what was eventually to come, but I think the point is that I didn’t know yet. I think the point of being here on this earth, going through darkness, and making mistakes is to see what we will do and learn when we lack knowledge. We’re not evil for lacking; we were sent with weakness. We only stay in the darkness when we aren’t willing to get on our knees and reach for God. To our great blessing, this is why we’ve been given a companion like the Holy Ghost. His job is to help us change, and to witness to us the character of God the Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

In sharing this story, I want to witness that following the Holy Ghost doesn’t mean that there will never be losses or endings. If that were the point, then this would cease to be a probationary period. If that’s what happens at some point in your life, I hope you don’t question your faith in God or your own abilities. Companionship with the Holy Ghost is about edification, and the kind of relationship we develop with God, especially when things don’t go as we wanted. He wants to know, will we continue to reach for the light when we’ve fallen in the darkness? Listening to the Holy Ghost is about developing Christlike light inside of us, and willingness, in these moments. 

The most profound thing is that Christ came to the sacrificial altar for even those who would reject Him and turn Him away. Sometimes we are asked to walk into things not because of the outcome but because of who we become. 

In a devotional Elder Eyring gave in 2005 he said, “The Lord is anxious to lead us to the safety of higher ground… His upward path will require us to climb… And as the world becomes darker and more dangerous, we must keep climbing… The mists of darkness will become more dense as we climb… But the word of God will guide those who develop the capacity to receive it through the Holy Ghost. A clear light piercing the darkness will show the way to those who have taken the Holy Ghost as a trusted and constant traveling companion.”

The world is moving towards greater darkness today, and it’s easy to doubt and fear. But, what Aaron reminded me to recall is the power of my relationship with the Holy Ghost. If I can strengthen my understanding of His communication and my desire for His companionship, nothing can shake the bright hope He gives me. 

I’ve had people ask me, “How do I know what it means to listen to the Holy Ghost? And How do people live differently and get different answers yet claim they are listening to the same Holy Ghost?” I think these are important questions to wrestle with. I’m not 100% sure. But to the latter, I think I would say that just like boundaries are important in human relationships, we can’t worry about what others desire and how others navigate their relationship with the Holy Ghost, we can only have integrity to our own relationship with the Holy Ghost and our understanding of God. 

To the former, I would say that one of the ways that I know the spirit is that I perceive a path opening before me. I’ve hit a couple of stages in my life when I had to make decisions. Honestly, I’ve been dreading going back to school for a masters so I’ve been coming up with creative ways to avoid it. But, I never felt sure about any of the options. I think the Lord was waiting for me to choose faith over fear; and hard work over comfort because listening to the spirit is about faith and action. The Spirit only witnesses to us what we’re ready to be accountable for. Listening to the Spirit makes me more Christlike and improves my vision of all of God’s children. And it helps me move into meaningful service for my brothers and sisters. If I’m listening to the Spirit, there’s evidence of God’s love and light in my life. 

We’re moving fast into a day where we see the hearts of men and women fail. We see wars and contention, and hatred like we’ve never conceived before. It’s more imperative now to get clear about what it means to be like God. Sheri Dew says, “where there is contention and sin, there is Satan. Stay away from him.” In a world full of contention and sin, we need to be careful not to rationalize even the smallest part. We ought to cling to the attributes in the thirteenth article of faith, stay sober from anger, tender in our hearts, and keep reaching for God. 

When I was nineteen, I attended a Christian college. Freshman took a class called “Spiritual Formation” and it was in this class that I learned for the first time that being “spiritual” didn’t mean anything if I wasn’t connecting to the Holy Ghost. So, we spent the semester learning how to connect with Him. We fasted, prayed, participated in lent, and meditated. The most meaningful message for me was that I had to make time to receive communication from the Holy Ghost, that it was supposed to be a two-way relationship. I still remember how powerful it was for me the first time I sat in a quiet space and prayed, listening to receive answers. I remember receiving and becoming more sure of my relationship with God. The Holy Ghost can teach us all truth, if we get quiet and honest enough to seek it. 

Learning to come before Christ in honest seeking, “ with nothing wavering”, or repentance, is the key to our reception of the Holy Ghost and eternal life. When I read the Book of Mormon for the first time, I read it more out of curiosity than true interest. I was in Ether before I closed it, and realized what I had read, and I felt stunned. I knew that God knew the truth, and I knew He would witness it to me. I knew even before I prayed that if He told me the Book was true, my old life was over. And then it was. This pattern holds true for the smaller conversions that happen every day. The Holy Ghost was sent to teach and to sanctify us, but we have to be willing to change and receive the light. 

I pray that as the days ahead of us challenge and stretch us, and they will, that we’ll remember to keep fostering our relationship with the Holy Ghost and seeking the attributes of Christ. I am so thankful for a Father who loves us so much. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Post-Grad

I graduated with my Bachelor's last week. Yay! Considering the five year process of growth I've been through, I thought I could share some lessons I've learned from struggling and being in therapy as a single parent in college. 

First Lesson: Life invites us to grow. To be human is having weaknesses which eventually must change. To live a full life, it's my theory that we ought to enlarge our character and capacity. And we can only do that by being willing to change our patterns of thought and behavior.

But first, questions: Why do we fear change? What's that about? And can you relate to the idea of fearing change? Here's a twist. Is it change that we fear?

Personally, I wonder if sometimes it's our failures or flaws we fear will be exposed, and cloak with the idea of change because we are so reticent to talk about what it means to have weaknesses. I think we're terrified of being seen as having weaknesses because we have to rumble with what it means to be weak. My worthiness gets triggered.

What I really want to address today is the power of being willing to change, and the power of being someone who optimistically views people and relationships. But, to be willing to change, we have to be okay with not having it all figured out and admitting that we makes mistakes sometimes. That's just a normal, healthy part of being human.

So... before we move on, can we embrace the idea that we need to change? 

If you're not convinced, tune in to any news station and consider the result of our collective unwillingness to change. It's devastating and destructive. We really just continue to hurt each other instead of embracing each other and understanding one another. Maybe it's time we let go of old ideas and foster new ones. 

So maybe it's better just to get comfortable addressing our weaknesses so that we can make the world a better place. And to choose people who love us because of our weakness, trusting that we will continue to change. I promise you, we don't want to be loved despite our flaws; we want people around us who love us and still help us embrace our need for character growth. It's a really powerful quality of healthy relationships to be loved as an imperfect human, not an object or a product. It's saying, "I'll stand beside you and give you love and support, refusing to criticize you, while you grow. Essentially, I just want you in my life and I trust you to do better as you grow. Sometimes I will give you kind feedback about where you need to grow." That's love.

So, another question: Do you want a world that's safe physically and emotionally?

Consider this poem from Shel Silverstein that I read to my kids tonight:

"Ations"

"If we meet and I say 'hi', 

that's a salutation.

If you ask me how I feel, 

that's consideration.

If we stop and talk awhile,

that's a conversation.

If we understand each other,

that's communication.

If we argue, scream and fight,

that's an altercation.

If later we apologize,

that's reconciliation.

If we help each other home, 

that's cooperation.

And all these ations added up

make civilization.

(and if I  say this is a wonderful poem, 

is that exaggeration?)

I was inspired by this poem. Each "ation" adds up to civilization. And the only "ation"we're nailing right now collectively and potentially individually is "altercation". We're not considering, conversing, communicating, reconciling, or cooperating. At least collectively. We are so wedded to our own ideas that we're not willing to see people anymore. And that's all sides.

We're becoming a really selfish people, and selfishness is contrary to civilization. The only way to change the world is not to obsess over ideology, but to change the way we treat the people around us. Even the people who we think get it wrong. We correct nothing in society by reiterating the same wrong behavior from a different point of view. 

We change the world by choosing to respect regardless of anothers' choices or characteristics— by choosing to respect all of the humanity that we cross. The problem isn't about color, sex, orientation, or ideology, or who's the "President", it's about respecting the life and dignity of a human. We've lost what it means to respect in this country. It's a powerful message that we communicate when we choose to respect another. And it's also really indicative of my character when I choose not to respect. And I only place false blame on someone else if I try to justify that choice with any reason. Respect should not be conditional. 

It was always about me when I chose to disrespect someone else. 

That's the lesson we need to be teaching. Your disrespect is about your relationship with humanity, not me nor my ideology or existence. And there's no excuse for choosing to disrespect someone else, including their property and our social contract. I think we need to be responsible and accountable to our own character, and begin to change. 

Let's get back to those other "ations". Pay attention to how others feel, even if it's different than you, you can still respect them. Understand others, deepen your intelligence, and respect them for their differences, even when it's hard. Even if we both cloak our disagreement with ideology and "human rights", we're still both humans, and we continue to forge our character with every human we interact with. This is as simple as assuming that their concerns have real merit, and addressing those concerns. We can and ought to do this for each other. This is civilization. And, it's time to apologize and live with greater respect for our ideological differences. Actually, it's imperative we stop calling each other evil. We are not each others' enemies. 

Reasoning one with another is a powerful tool. I believe there's merit in seeing another's perspective, connecting with their concerns, and explaining our own. We add more power to our ability to problem solve for all of humanity, and to avoid the pitfalls of our own views. "Come, and let us reason one with another." I think truth speaks for itself, and people are often intrigues by truth, so we ought to choose reason and respect when we interact. There's a way to pull each other closer and in. Otherwise we turn people away. A friend of mine in her eighties a few months ago said that she missed the days when we would sit on each others' porches, and reason and be friendly. We had optimistic views about our ability to relate. I think we can change, and make this a reality again, if we stop distancing with "us and them" attitudes. 

My favorite line is "If we help each other home, that's cooperation." We are humanity; we are brothers and sisters, knit together by virtue of existing on the planet at the same time. This is our home, and we must help each other make it a safer, better place. Every action we take impacts this home we live in. We either create more optimism, or we choose to be selfish and deepen division. And the selfishness is devastating to our society. Yes, there is real evil. But instead of taking down the evil, we're burning each other to the ground. That's a greater threat to humanity and civilization than the real evils out there because we're allowing ourselves to be the perpetrators without being willing to see it, especially with trying to justify our behaviors by siting someone else as being at fault. That pattern is part of lacking accountability and intelligent action.  AND we're not uniting to bring down the threats. It's a two-pronged failure. 

Let's cooperate and make this home better for all of us. It happens by practicing the virtues that Shel Silverstein sought to teach children (and their parents reading his poems). Yes, this takes willingness; yes, this takes a recognition of our weaknesses and where we need to change; and, yes, that takes bravery and hard work. But, nothing matters more than what we do from this point forward.